Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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