i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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