i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize