I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Still dying that you shit outside
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
