I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
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You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I need moral support for this bender
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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