I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
this boner is exhausting
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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