nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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