glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Randomize
