Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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