Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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