Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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