I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
