Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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