I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
