what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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