are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
