You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
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She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
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I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops