so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks