You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
