I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
