Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
