She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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