you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.