no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My Sexting was not on an AP level