Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making