I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
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And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
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I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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