I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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