8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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