I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
We don't watch enough power rangers
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
