is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I have post one night stand depression
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
