Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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