At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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