Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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