I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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