I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
