At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
