Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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