Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
