hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Life is so much better after having sex.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
