He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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