the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
