im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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