I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Randomize
