names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
