R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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