I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
