I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
