Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize