so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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