I am in a vortex of obligation.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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