you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
