handjob tips. give me some.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
