so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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