I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize