I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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