So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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