Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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