fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
