Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
