Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize