i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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